today has become exponentially shitty.
edit. idk. today has had it's ups and downs. school was okay, but i hate feeling shitty about how hard i'm trying. aka not hard at all. and yeah. 1month. i feel like we've put the worst behind us. and i wrote this on tumblr today; "Listen to me. If you take one thing out of our relationship, let it be this. If you love someone, tell them. And fight for them. Every day. Because if you don't, that person will think your words were completely worthless. Don't give bullshit excuses, love isn't about excuses. Love is patient, love is kind. You yourself must take on the qualities of love. If you love someone, you'd do anything to keep them by your side. Period. So if one day, you encounter love, don't let it slip away." ahhhh. i don't know. i really don't. then i read my report card. dropped in all but 3 classes. and, guess what? my average is an 89.4. aka the first time i'm not on high honor roll since sixth fucking grade. honestly. i'm so disappointed in myself. i can do so much better and i don't know what's wrong with me lately. failing shit like it's no big deal. day to day in school doesn't really seem to matter, but in the long run, high school is what gets you into college. which then in turn prepares you for your career, your life. this shit is important and i'm handling it like it's bullshit. i promised to try harder because honestly, that ruined my day. also, it's day 349. realizing that there are only 16 more days of this year is unreal. 16 more days of this blog. bittersweet. also, 15 days until the starting line in philly with best friend. keeping a smile on my face. i really don't have anything to say particularly but i guess i could say some stuff.
laura. honestly, thank you. i don't know what else to say. we always seem to go through the exact same shit at the same time. you and tor are the only ones who will ever understand. even though we're really mean to each other hahahaha, i love you.
katrina. you're my favorite nerd. i might not have ever said this to you but it's a complete breath of fresh air to be around someone who i actually see as intelligent. you're someone i can actually have a conversation with, and you appreciate knowledge and literature, etc etc, as much as i do. we have so many good memories and i'm glad we're close again. i love you =]! ps i know i didn't answer your text today but i just wanted to tell you that it made me smile and i'm so glad that good people like you exist.
mike. i miss everything. i'll leave it at that.
i think that's it for right now. until tomorrow. of course. xo.
edit. idk. today has had it's ups and downs. school was okay, but i hate feeling shitty about how hard i'm trying. aka not hard at all. and yeah. 1month. i feel like we've put the worst behind us. and i wrote this on tumblr today; "Listen to me. If you take one thing out of our relationship, let it be this. If you love someone, tell them. And fight for them. Every day. Because if you don't, that person will think your words were completely worthless. Don't give bullshit excuses, love isn't about excuses. Love is patient, love is kind. You yourself must take on the qualities of love. If you love someone, you'd do anything to keep them by your side. Period. So if one day, you encounter love, don't let it slip away." ahhhh. i don't know. i really don't. then i read my report card. dropped in all but 3 classes. and, guess what? my average is an 89.4. aka the first time i'm not on high honor roll since sixth fucking grade. honestly. i'm so disappointed in myself. i can do so much better and i don't know what's wrong with me lately. failing shit like it's no big deal. day to day in school doesn't really seem to matter, but in the long run, high school is what gets you into college. which then in turn prepares you for your career, your life. this shit is important and i'm handling it like it's bullshit. i promised to try harder because honestly, that ruined my day. also, it's day 349. realizing that there are only 16 more days of this year is unreal. 16 more days of this blog. bittersweet. also, 15 days until the starting line in philly with best friend. keeping a smile on my face. i really don't have anything to say particularly but i guess i could say some stuff.
laura. honestly, thank you. i don't know what else to say. we always seem to go through the exact same shit at the same time. you and tor are the only ones who will ever understand. even though we're really mean to each other hahahaha, i love you.
katrina. you're my favorite nerd. i might not have ever said this to you but it's a complete breath of fresh air to be around someone who i actually see as intelligent. you're someone i can actually have a conversation with, and you appreciate knowledge and literature, etc etc, as much as i do. we have so many good memories and i'm glad we're close again. i love you =]! ps i know i didn't answer your text today but i just wanted to tell you that it made me smile and i'm so glad that good people like you exist.
mike. i miss everything. i'll leave it at that.
i think that's it for right now. until tomorrow. of course. xo.
1 comment:
life doesn't start after college. life already started long ago.
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