131.

so, school fucking sucked. no surprise. i can't handle the stress this is giving me. i'm not even going to list the things i have to do, because that'll just make me more freaked out. law and chris jung came over for a little after school today. so that was fun. and that was when this picture occured. oh, we are so funny. then i did homework, ha, not really. and then went to the people to people meeting with my father. i cannot tell you the hell i go through when i'm with my father. i'm not going to accept your fucking religion and everything it's put me through for so long. i don't give a shit anymore. and as for you, what the fuck is your problem? i'm no bitch, and you have no right to go to anyone and complain that i am. i piss you off? you fucking piss ME off. to no end. what the fuck ever. but now, i'm in the worst mood i've been in a long time. people are so fucking stupid. 1. you're so gross. you have a disgusting face and a disgusting personality. you're fucking things up now and i would drive your face into concrete if i could. jesus fucking christ, i can't stand you. 2. what the fuck. maybe you are just an asshole like the rest. i didn't want to type that because i don't want to think it. you're different and i know it. but your actions tonight truly showed me a different side. innocence, maybe. i guess it's probably not even your fault. i guess it's just me overreacting. but who knows. this means so much to me. so much that i'm willing to do anything if it means bettering things. you don't understand this and i don't know if you ever will. tonight, i was just confused. you help me but you can't see through me. you're the problem. i never wanted this to happen. i'm not gunna let it show. i don't want to risk it. i just don't know what to do. atleast i have my best friends. and they'll always be on my side. i have a feeling my journal will be hearing a lot out of me tonight. and my head won't hit that pillow for nearly as long as it should. i'm crying already.

edit. i'm extremely lucky to call tracy wang my best friend. thank you for saying exactly what i needed to hear. we learn more about each other every day. i really fucking appreciate you, foog. and i love you. goodnight.