75.

today was ... eventful, you might say. i'll start from the beginning. me crying in 4 different periods came as a warning that today might be pretty emotional. so after school was okay, better than planned. i walked to my house with ryan and laura, and dropped off my books. then i went to laura's. my best fraaaaan. this is where the picture up there happened. because best friends make each other food :). then we did some homework and watched "a lot like love" and died, basically. after i came home there were some serious issues. i'm not saying this is a bad day because i haven't smiled so wide in a while. so here it goes. these are my final words. if your definition of "forever" was put into dictionaries, forever would be a lot shorter than most people expected. you are a foolish person and i hope you have come to realize that. i know it's not completely your fault, but come on. i never said you fucked up my whole life but you sure as hell affected it, for over a year. i've been waiting so long to finally say what i said to you tonight. and it's done, as simply as that. i felt myself give a pang of mercy when you apoligized but i remembered how many times those words have left your mouth, and how little they mean to me now. i don't feel bad for you. i don't care that i'm a bitch. you deserve it. and you're wrong. you can't pretend like you never met me. but what has happened is over. tonight was the closure i needed and so is this blog. to have you out of my life means freedom to me. "i'm finally over you because i no longer fear falling back in love with you." and it couldn't have been said better. this is done and over. and so are we. i've said it a million times but this is for real. this is what i need.