300.

day 300! this is natalie. today was really fun/funny for a lot of reasons but it also kinda sucked. and i guess really only i know why. well, school was alright, as always. i'm really glad kiana's coming back to school tomorrow. after school, nat and i went on heather's bus with her! got yelled at by freshman, why? LOL. anywaysss. walked to heather's. worked on our costumes for halloween for a while! then walked to go get pizza at mayfair. funny times, i really love those two. walked back and then worked on our costumes some more. listened to the soundtrack from WTWTA ahahaha, of course. but yeah, it was in the back of my mind. it sucks when i want to be having fun. well, i am, but my mind always goes back to the negative things when i'm given a couple seconds to think. doesn't that suck? i hate that about me. well anyway, nat left around 6:30 and i left at 7. love my heather feather! ps the picture is me and nat in the pizza place =]! sooo, i really dislike my father. he's the one who picked me up from heather's. listen, i don't want to hear your bullshit as soon as i open up the car door. give me a fucking break. and you wonder why i never want to be around you? because THIS is all you do. and it sucks. should i feel like a piece of shit? well, i don't. i don't and you can't make me. you can't tell me i'm unappreciative, because even my mother knows that's not true. maybe you should be more like her. maybe if you didn't make everything fucking uncomfortable for me. and you actually treated me like a daughter, and not some fucking student that you have to teach your "wisdom" to. i don't give a shit about your religion. i didn't promise you anything. and you're the one who said i could choose when i got older. well look, i'm older. and i'm choosing. i guess you don't care to know what it's like to not be able to explain to anyone why my father doesn't celebrate holidays. why he never says happy birthday to me and he's never around for holidays. especially why i have to hide everything. do you even fucking see that? maybe i SHOULD care more than i do, but at the moment, i really don't give a damn whether you're here or not. whatever. i'm done with this. so now it's 7:30, and i still have to do my math (KILL ME) and english homework. d. n. f. w. omg. oh and, there's you. do you actually not see that i care? hello, do you know me at all? i don't talk to people i don't like, period. so don't even concern yourself with that fact. and as far as school. yeah, i'm an asshole. to everyone. and you should know i'm kidding. look, i like you more than i let on. but maybe i should just keep my fucking mouth closed about that.

edit. 8:45 and still didn't start that homework. well, aren't i awesome. why am i back here? i don't know what else to do. am i really this ...upset?

edit 2. eh....... whatever. idk anymore.