212.

AHHH, love today. another entertaining bus ride hahaha. basically all we did was go to the chateau de versailles all day. it was absolutely gorgeous. we got there and got in and we had the entire time to ourselves to look at whatever we wanted. i was with alexa, destiny, jon, greg, nick and alex. we walked around inside and it was so gorgeous. like... unbelievable. i took 28375892 pictures, but decided on this one because i think it really portrays a "palace" very well. gold with lots of pillars and whatnot. anyway, we walked around in a lot of the rooms for a while, and then went out to the huge garden. hahaha it was great. we went in the maze, too. we split up and i was with destiny, nick and alex. haha we found the others eventually. after that, we went to the lake thingy and fed the swans? oh, idk, it was interesting :D lul. greg had an underwater camera so decided it would be a good idea to take a video underwater of the swans HAHAHA. omg so great. also a good idea to put grass on your feet and let the swans eat it off of you. hahaha. i love them. plus, nick almost pushed me in. ohmannnn. really fun time there. we met up with everyone and then walked back to the bus. dinner was gewdddd. the hotel was pretty nice too! dw this trip <3.

211.

woke up at 7:17am. i showered and so did cristiana. we were smiling so big because we were leaving hahaha. we went downstairs and had breakfast by ourselves. we left around 8am. we drove for like, 30 minutes. when we pulled into the parking lot and i saw the coach and joe and johannes standing outside, i was like, bursting with happiness hahaha. it was so weird. i got on the bus and i was like "I LOVE YOU ALL." because i missed them so damn much. after we were all packed, another 7 hour drive to lyon, france. those are always fun hahaha. everyone was sleeping again! i got such a funny picture of that. hahaha jon and i are wonderful people. anyway. we got to lyon and went to this meat place? idek what it was. oh. after that, we went on a tour of lyon. it was seriously GORGEOUS. i love it there. the picture today is one of the many bridges. so pretty. we went to the top point of the city and i got the greatest pictures. i love stuff like that! and jon, hahaha. so many funny pictures, too. we went to a really nice church, one of the prettiest i saw on the whole trip. dw. we also looked at apartment buildings, which were so awesome. i love the way that city is set up. we had a little free time, and then dinner. so funny. "WHY ARE YOU ISOLATED?!?!?!?" hahaha. another fun day! only 6 left :(

210.

today was a bit better than yesterday. atleast we did something haha. i slept late, until like, 11:30. so i missed breakfast, lul. cristiana was ready, so we went downstairs and had lunch. at 1, me, cristiana, our "mom" and her mom left to go to town. montpellier. so, we walked like 15 minutes to the bus stop. bus for about half an hour, fun. then we got off the bus and onto the train, for 10 minutes. then transfered trains. then, we were finally there. we walked forever, me and cristiana didn't know what we were doing and couldn't ask them. we went into some bank place? i really have no idea, actually. we were walking around and went into a couple shops but we didn't buy anything. after that, we walked to some glasses store? LMFAO cristiana, "oh, okay, let's run some errands!" yeah, fun. it got better, though. we walked to the mall and that was a relief. they had some cute shirts but i didn't buy any. we got milkshakes which were really good, but language barriers suck a lot. we were walking around and then all of a sudden, i see destiny, nicole, christie and sammi! another homestay group, hellz yeaaah. so we chilled with them for a little. it was good to talk english to someone hahaha. so that was fun. eventually, we went into this store and i saw a really cute gray purse that i bought. dw it! we basically just walked around with them a lot and in and out of stores. atleast we did something. at 5, we started walking back to the train. we were home by 6:30, how fun! a little while after that, we had dinner. it was actually nice, it was our last dinner and it was outside with the whole family. they had a nice backyard. not to mention i was starving. so after that, me and cristiana wrote in our journals and counted down the hours until we left. yeah, it really was that bad. oh well. i went to sleep in my boiling hot room, really excited to leave the next morning.

209.

by far, the worst day on the entire trip. hated pretty much every second of it. ugh. we woke up around 9:30 and amandine said we were going to a park? so we asked her if we could shower and she said no..... oh. so we both felt gross. but we were like, oh, a park, maybe it will be pretty and blahblahblah. um. we walk maybe 20 minutes to some weird little park with like 4 things to play on. it's filled with little kids and like 2 benches. in all honestly it looked like one of this frickin parks that kids smoke in at night. lul, like really? we sat there for literally 2 hours and did NOTHING. this little kid kept throwing a ball and me and cristiana, omg it was so annoying. oh, i forgot to mention. our "mom" was like, a babysitter? or some shit... idek. but she was taking care of these 4 little kids. we were like.... oh. anyway. that was really annoying. after that, we walked back to the house and ate lunch. with all the little kids. it was pretty gross and annoying. not to mention awkward. we went back upstairs and literally had nothing better to do than sleep. so we took naps and then wrote in our journals. after that, cristiana went into the bathroom and a couple minutes later, came running back into her room with no pants on..... "CATHERINE, THERE'S A FUCKING STRAY CAT IN THE BATHTUB!" yeah, seriously. a random black cat that these people didn't even own. in the bathtub. oh. that was fun. cristiana called her mom and told her everything, too. we seriously did nothing. we had dinner, gross, and then we both took showers. um, MOST AWKWARD SHOWER OF MY LIFE. there was no shower curtain, and there was nothing to hold the faucet thing up by, so i had to put it on the floor. lmfao. honestly. then we went to bed. OH. that was fun.

208.

mwahaha. today was very nice. we drove to cannes, france in the morning. we went on a tour of the french riviera and everything. it was beautiful. we saw chuck norris' handprint hahaha. bryan and his umbrella, that was pretty funny. we took a group picture on the red carpet, too. qt. cannes is right on the coast and it's the capital of the cote d'azur. so many nice pictures. we had a lot of free time, too. that was pretty much the greatest. after a couple hours, we got on the bus and drove to a bowling alley. now that was a lot of fun hahahahaha. we had lunch there, which was french fries, and i was really glad to have somewhat american food. yummy. then we bowled. jon, greg, nick, ryan and alex were on my team. hahaha those guy are seriously the funniest. johannes was bowling right next to us, too. haaa. lots of funny, creeper pictures and so many good times. today's picture is greg, jon and i, duh. ti amo! this was deffinitely the highlight of my day. we got back on the bus to drive to montpellier for our homestays. i didn't hit me yet that i'd be leaving them all for 3 days! i had no idea what to expect. we drove for a while and johannes and shelby announced all the homestay groups. i was with just cristiana. there were groups of 2, 3 and 4 but i was glad i atleast got a friend to stay with. well, we got to montpellier and met our new family. we were putting our bags in there car and realized they really, really didn't know english.... awkward. the little girl, amandine, was 12 and knew maybe 20 words. probably more than the rest of the family combined. fun. we went back to their house, which took maybe 20 minutes. we had dinner which was... different, but not disgusting. it was still mad awkward though. me and cristiana had seperate rooms that we were staying in so i was in hers, just talking about stuff. amandine came in and told us to go to bed..... oh. "sleep please." HAHAHA we died. well, we knew we were in for an interesting few days....

207.

in the morning, we got in the bus super early and prepared for a 7 hour bus ride to france. that was a fun time hahaha. everyone was sleeping on the bus except for me and jon. it was pretty funny. we watched movies and took pictures and whatnot. made a couple stops and got food, yaknow. it was as fun as we made ittt. first, we drove into monaco, which is a really small country. it's smaller than central park! haha awesome. we had a guide show us around and everything and it was beautiful. that's today's picture, the view from the top point in monaco. i love that picture. we saw so many things there, lots of churchs and stuff. so interesting. guides might be boring sometimes but a lot of the time, it's really interesting. after our tour, we had free time. i was with bryan, nick, alexa and destiny. other people some of the time. i didn't want to buy anything really so i just walked around with everyone. it was always a fun time. anyway, we got back on the bus and drove into nice, france. it was gorgeous already. we went to a perfume factory for the company fragonard. that was pretty interesting, too. lots of people bought perfume but it was maddd expensive. after that, we went to dinner and to our new hotel. this one was really nice, too. there was a huge balcony on every floor and lots of levels, so everyone was basically running around and into the courtyard and stuff. so who cares if we're loud? hahaha. i stole bryan's itouch and was playing taptap hahaha. kate locked basically everyone out of their rooms, that was interesting. after curfew, i couldn't find bryan so i just went back into my room with rachelle and cristiana. a little while later he came knocking on our door with liz and asked for it back, but instead took rachelle's comb? hahah that kid is such a creep. but i love him. such a fun night. i love these people.

206.

beautiful. today, we got up bright and early to drive to monterosso beach, which was gorgeous (minus the rocks!) i went in the water with alexa, destiny, jon, greg, joe, alex, jasmine, etc. i kept floating out like, 30 feet and jon had to ~save~ me hahaha. JON, TI AMO! what would i do without him? anyway, we stayed on the beach for about 3 hours and then got ready to leave. we hiked along the via del amore which was really tiring and hot but the view was amazing, as you can see from today's picture. after a pointless hike (ha), we got on a boat ride along the cinque terre, which is basically 5 fishing villages. they were so qt. built on the mountains and everything. those boat rides were so fun ahaha. "quick, take a picture of me and his backpack!" "johannes, why do you always smile like that?" HAHAH, greg and jon tortured that man. all in love, of course. the boat brought us to la spezia, italy. that's where our hotel was. we got on the bus and drove there. it was kindof a relaxing day, thank god. even with the hike, it was pretty nice. we were supposed to have the homestay meeting after dinner, but they decided to have it the next morning on the bus. fun time! the hotel we stayed in was super nice, probably the nicest one the whole time. free time was so much fun. a bunch of us dressed up for dinner haha, i wore a qt dress :) after that, we had more free time and i was with greg, joe, danielle, alex and bryan in the hallway of the hotel, looking at pictures and greg was saying all the johannes quotes. hahaha. so fucking funny. another great day!

205.

ohay pisa! today was so much fun. we got to pisa and i was with alexa, destiny, jon, greg, nick and joe for most of the time. we went in the dome and it was so cool in there. after that, we took pictures of/with the leaning tower of pisa! exciting. "um, the only reason it's famous is because it's leaning." hahahaha life. anyway, we had a lot of free time today. we walked around looking at shit to buy and greg bought 3 flags hahah. of course, one was the austrian flag. JOHANNES! i really love spending time with these kids, they make me laugh so much. well, after a couple hours, we all met up and left pisa. we went to a beach called torre del lago and did community service, which was basically picking up garbage for half an hour. that kinda sucked, because the sand was mad hot and i had to put my shoes back on with sand all over my feet haha. oh well. so, we went back to the hotel and had a little free time before dinner. dinner was the fucking funniest thing ever. sam and steph basically couldn't breathe. and everything with johannes was too much. "greg, do you have a girlfriend?" "no, she dumped me last month.." "well..." HAHAHA. holy shit, it was so great. free time after that was the greatest, too. jon, greg, alexa, destiny and i playing "sacagaweaweahfjsakf" was pretty much the greatest. the days were so effin exhausting but in the end, i really enjoyed everything. today was such a great day. xo.

204.

florence, italy. beautiful. before we got to florence, we went on a tour of this chocolate factory which was really cool. "guys, the chocolate is over here!" bahahaha. oh johannes. anyway, florence. we walked around a little bit and then went to the accademia gallery. home of the david by michelangelo. um, this thing is huge. like, i knew it was big and i was so excited to see it, but holy shit..... it's sooo big. honestly. no pictures, so that's why today's picture isn't him ): but anyway. saw lots of other statues by michelangelo, my love. dw. after that, our guide took us through florence and showed us everything like the duomo, the gate to paradise and the replica of david. (: after all that, we got free time. i actually wanted to be alone. so, i was walking around. shopping in florence. oh? hahahah i can't. well, i got a ring for myself which i love to death. bracelet for my mom. and looked at a lot of different stuff. after that, everyone met up and got back on the bus. we drove to tuscany and went to this restaurant there where 4 people from our group got to make pizza. it was mad good. also, that's when alexa, destiny and i sat with jon and greg for the first dinner. it was so funny and i knew we would all be friends. after dinner, we drove to montecatini, italy and got into our hotel. free time at the hotel is beginning to be the fucking greatest. (:

203.

today was so much fucking fun. we were told to be ready for a very active day, and damn, was that right. it was called Full-On day. at the beginning of the day, i went to breakfast and i was so excited for the day. like seriously, i was pumped and it was weird because i was being so outgoing and talkative to everyone, even the new jersey delagation that we met up with. i'm not the shyest person in the world, but i'm not usually that comfortable around people i barely know. anyway, it was awesome. we played this game in the morning with everyone which was really funny hahaha. the people we were working with were called the Full-On crew, and they were great. after the game, we walked for maybe 20 minutes to the 150 foot tower that we would be repelling off of, oshit. it was hugeeeee. i wasn't really nervous, just excited. i was in the first group to go, and kaleen, steph and i were the first 3 to go down. it was so awesome. the first step when you basically go sideways, holy shit, it was so scary. i looked down, too. oh well. after a couple steps it was easier, and i went faster. it was deffinitely something i won't forget. so cool. after everyone went, we had bagged lunch and then walked back to the main part, near our hotel. this picture is overlooking town. l-r; me, nicole, kaleen, steph, amelia, sam, lauren, kate, bryan. after that, we went into this building with everyone and the nj delagation and broke wooden boards with our hands/feet. kinda dumb, but i felt accomplished when i did. they were really influential people, and talked to us about how if we are in the right state of mind, we can do what we want to do. idk how to explain it without sounding cheesy but it was really a great thing to hear. we bought our pictures from the day and everything, and then went to dinner. we went back to the hotel and that's when it got interesting. steph, nicole, kaleen, kate, sam and i went up to the restaurant to get ice cream and we were eating it at a table there. steph was dancing like an idiot and we noticed a table full of italian teenagers were pointing and laughing. steph decided to do her tribal dance.... ohman. you can't even imagine. they all laughed and when we were leaving, so were all like, "CIAO!" to them hahaha. we went back to the hotel and we were outside when we noticed them all coming down the stairs. it was so great, hahahaha. they remembered us and we started talking. it was pretty difficult, considering only a couple of them knew some english. it was seriously the funniest thing, though. trying to communicate with them. after a while, it got a little easier. we asked them if they had facebooks and gave them our names. we were all standing in a big circle and laughing so much. while it was kinda frustrating, it was so much fun. the leaders didn't even stop us because i guess they figured the culture was good for all of us. when it was getting close to curfew, we started saying bye and telling them that we were leaving at 8am the next day. we all took pictures and gave hugs and it was just a really cool and fun way to end the night. day 2 in the shittiest hotel ever. oh well. great day <3.

202.

assisi, italy. by far my favorite place we went to. we drove there and then walked to where we were having lunch. the food was never that amazing but oh well! after that, we walked around a little bit and then met with a monk who talked to us about the town and saint francis. it was actually really interesting. after that, we walked forever into the main part of town and then got almost 2 hours of free time. that was the greatest. i was with alexa, destiny and rebecca. we bought lots of stuff from shop and got gelato! i called my dad for the first time and it was weird how i actually liked talking to him. assisi is seriously beautiful and i love all the pictures i took there. the picture for today is overlooking the entire town, which was a gorgeous view. props to destiny ;D. after free time, we all met up and got back on the bus to go to the hotel. it was a really shitty hotel, worse than the first one. no tv's, phones or air conditioning, and 4 people to a room. dinner was really good though. we had it in a garden near the hotel and a bunch of italian teenagers came to talk to us. i talked to this girl bennedetta, whose english was really good. it was so cool to learn about their culture like that. we talked about everrrything. school, home, movies, hobbies, food, whatever. also, that was the first time i talked to jon, greg and bryan. really glad about that because they became really close to me. i mean, it deffinitely was one of my favorite days. i love assisi <3. also; we met 2 years ago today. how qt :)

201.

holy fucking shit. what a fucking day. alright so, wake up call was mad early and i think i was the last one to shower. so, christine and jasmine had already went down to breakfast and i was about to do my hair. i plugged my hairdryer in and my adapter sparked. broken. wonderfullllll. i was like, fuck it and just let my hair do whatever hahaha. fun. anyway, whatever, i didn't care. rome again today. we had a scavenger hunt to do. we were split into teams and there were 8 other people on mine. we walked all around rome, answering questions and shittt. we went to the spanish steps and counted them. we also went to the trevi fountain which was huge and beautiful, omg. walking around with them was so much fun, seriously. we met a couple hours later in this huge square in town. it was so nice. after that, we went to the smallest country in the world, vatican city. the capital of catholicism. i was within like, a square mile of the pope. LOL OH. my life. anyway. we went into st. peter's cathedral, which is........... fucking amazing. michelangelo's pieta and the fucking sistine chapel. i pretty much died. it was so fucking gorgeous. pictures weren't allowed but they obviously weren't really enforcing that because... my blog picture today. ahahahaaaa. omg i can't get over that. today was a lot better than yesterday. had dinner and then went back to the hotel. chillin in the hotel was always fun hahaha. stayed up pretty late again and called my mom. a lot of people had complaints but i sucked it up and told my mom i was fine. overall, a really good day.

200.

how surreal. well, by the time we landed in rome, it was about 9am there. 6 hour time difference from new york. it was the beginning of the day and not a lot of people had slept on the plane. we went to the baggage claim and got our luggage. i don't think it hit ANYONE that we were in italy. oh man. well, the first thing we did was meet our delagation manager, johannes. he would be with us for the entire trip. anyway, we went out to our coach bus, which would pretty much be our home for the next 19 days. we put all our luggage under the bus and started driving. introductary stuff and whatnot. we drove for a little while and then we walked to the coliseum. surreal, seriously. it was hugeeee. we walked around inside and stuff and a tour guide showed us around. we also went to the roman forum and saw lots of monuments. rome is beautiful, i took so many pictures ahahah. we basically walked around all day and it was so hot. holy shit. everyone was kind of in a bad mood because of that and jetlag. by the time we got to dinner, we'd all been awake for 30 hours straight. br00tal shet. after dinner, we went to our first hotel and were assigned roomates. i was with christine and jasmine. the hotel was shit but they were a lot of fun to talk to at night. we relaxed and stayed up pretty late, oh the shows that random italian hotels show. ahahaha it was a funny night even though it wasn't the greatest day. xo.

199.

oh man. woke up around 8am, showered and got ready. got breakfast with my brother and it was my last meal in the usa for 3 weeks! awww. mike and jess left for warped and i left for the airport around 10:45am. i took my phone and was having the last text convos for a while, it was sad. we got to JFK around 12. most of the people were there already. we said bye to all our parents and it was bittersweet. we went through security, blahblahblah. we got to our gate and had maybe 2 and a half hours to wait. fun. i went to the bathroom and that's where i talked to my first friends on the trip, alexa and cristiana. we walked around the airport and then when it was time, boarded our plane. 7 hours and then we landed in germany. i was soooo bored on that plane. after about an hour, we boarded another plane. frankfurt, germany to rome, italy. fuck yeah <3.

198.

watching the sunrise with ze best friends, definitely a night to remember. my LAST night with them. i wouldn't've had it any other way. packing all day. tomorrow....europe. i'll post all my blogs when i get home. august 5th! goodbye. xo.

197.

hmmmshit, cleaned my room top to bottom for 3 hours today. fun time. everything's spotless except, of course, my bed. packing is not fun but holy shit, 2 dayzzzzz. i'm sho excited! but dnw to leave best friends :( and i'm still sad about missing warped, but obviously europe is gunna be a lot of fun. don't really feel like writing today. it hasn't really hit me that i'm leaving. ahhh i can't. goodbye!

196.

:) today was fun times. woke up to a call from laura, we talked and then i showered and whatnot. she started walking over but mike and i ended up picking her up on townline and driving to mike's college for next year. exciting. well then. we got back and talked and shet, whutev, HA. and then daturrrr came :) best friends, all i need. ilfpoglez! LUL RETARDED. hmkay well we obviously had fun, we made macaroni and cheese (2 boxes) and ate all of it .... damn. then we went upstairs wif mama ahhhhh and started packing all my stuff! my room is sew cluttered, dnw :( it's kinda sad and exciting at the same time to pack, lul. OH, also got my packages today. the alarm clock and adapter from people to people. and my rental phone. it's beautiful and i want it forever, just saying. i'll try to keep in contact wif people as best i can. hmmm well, after packing, tor, law and i ordered pizza and pm engulfed it. LOL OH. we're so dumb. then we sat in my den with the lights off, blasting music. obviously, that's nothing new. we're just retarded but i love it. shet, gunna miss them :). WELL, we haven't talked in 2 full days..... what? it's so unfamilar. but i'm liking it at this point. this break is what i needed. still, i can't help being a little concerned. we definitely need to talk before i leave. oh and, same goes for you. dw you :'). time for bed.... except not really. xo.

195.

hmm, well. didn't really do much of anything today. summer gets boring sometimes. i did, however, read a lot today. i really like that line. it's simple but it means a lot. love stuff like that. when my mom came home from work today, we started going over all the stuff for europe, like changing the moniez and shetttt. started packing, too, whutttt? this is surreal. around 8, i went out to eat with my parents at jade garden, how fun! well, i was texting tor, who had just gotten off her plane from california, and i told her where i was. 15 minutes, she's there with amanda and jim to have dinner hahahaaaaa. needless to say, i ~ditched~ my family and pretty much had dinner with them. it was a good time. 695 pictures, 500 of palm trees!!!1!1!!!111! lul. i missed my best friend so much, and that was only for 10 days. i dunno what i'm gunna do wifout her and law for 3 weeks ): aghhhh well. tor and i just had a v v funny conversation, i think we were both just a little tired. i was tearin' up bro. OH, also. it's really really great to feel like this again. i thought all hope was lost, but maybe not :) well, i think it's about time for me to sleep, finally. goodnight.

194.

i'll get straight to the meaning of this, because i really didn't do anything today. i've been thinking a lot about how lucky i am. i have a roof over my head. a family that loves me. friends. school. nothing's exactly coming crashing down on me at the moment. maybe this isn't the nicest thing to say, but your life makes me appreciate my own. i want to help you and that's what i tried doing today. i appreciate what i have because you don't have a lot of it. i want you to have everything you want because that's what you deserve. i wish you the best of luck in the decision you have to make, because it's sure as hell a life-changing one. anyway. europe in 5 days, what? pm dying. one of the few things i did today was finish all my quizzes for ze trip. i feel less stressed. but at the same time, more stressed. for a different reason. took my cat to the vet today and my mother decided it was the perfect time to tell me she's filing for a divorce. hmmshit, saw that coming, but it hurts a lot to know it's actually here. i mean, shit's gunna change. we talked about us moving next summer... how that's probably gunna happen. she was just rambling about looking for houses with her friend and she got into actual figures and it just became all too real. something tells me that i'm not ready for a change like that. idk. maybe i should be more upset. or maybe it hasn't hit me yet. well, it will. i'm glad i'll be living with my mom, though. but ugh... idek. dnw fights over custody and shit. dnw to be driven to school every day. dnw to be far away from my friends. and i'm scared at how mike will react to this. i'm getting the vibe that he doesn't know yet. and he'll probably put up more of a fight. idk. this is gunna be hard. um. i think i have more to talk about. OHYEAH. you are being so immature. so, i called you out on your bullshit. it's true and you know it. don't go and freak out on me. you know i'm right. that shit hurts. i'm so done with this. i just want to be fucking normal. i've said so many times that we're done for good, so why does it never happen? i thought it was for good last time. obviously nothing lasts. all i wanted was to be on good terms. why do you turn it into this? ugh. people have always tried to talk sense into me, and i know i believe them, but it's like my mind and my body do different things. like i'm incapable of saying what's on my mind to you. well, i know that's not completely true. but still, it sucks that i don't know how to stop. um, idk. also. you. i really miss you! i wish you'd talk to me sometimes. it'd be nice. you told me you've been thinking about me. so have i. let's chill, kid. well... i'm done for now. time for bed. xo.

193.

hmm, well. today was interesting. woke up at the usual time and showered. but i was in the weirdest mood and decided to straighten my hair ..... for the first time since april 1st. whut de shet. it was epic. it looked very qt until it decided to flip. but, anyway. i went to target with my mom and grandma and did more shopping for europe. damn, i'm lucky. this is pretty much once in a lifetime. i mean, probably. i would love to go back some day, though. but holy shit, 6 days. anyway. shopping was kinda frustrating because my mom always buys unnecessary things that i don't want and won't use. i always put up a fight and she just pisses me off. i get past it though. i mean, she is buying me shit for my trip. i really can't ask for more. so i laid off and she got what she thought was good. she'll probably be right in the end, anyway... she usually is. after target we stopped at cvs and then went home. it was around 6:30. i called david because he wanted to chill. he was eating dinner at gina's so he said he'd pick me up when he was done. i started a book i got a couple days ago, "before i die" and it's mad good so far. i really love reading so much and i should start doing it more again. i remember last summer, gina and i would walk to borders by target and just sit in there and read for hours. and we'd sit in her basement and have reading parties. we really loved it and i miss it! hmmshit, gotta start again. well, anyway. david picked me up and we went to gina's and andrew was there! him and gina were sew qt, dw them together. and i haven't seen him since school ended and i love him so much :) played rockband with david and had a srs talk. i cried but he shouldn't feel bad because no one has ever put it the way he has and i needed it. i really did. i mean, it might not have impacted me yet but it will. i can't just forget the things he said to me. i won't. and i'm planning to take action. even if it hurts me. i mean... i want to be free, don't i? i don't want this pain anymore. i can't keep doing this to myself. well zen. after that, we all chilled and then decided to get ice cream. mmmm, 31 degrees below with oreos from baskin robins. pretty much in love. we went to silo and then andrew had to leave. we stayed on the playground for a little while and then i had to go home, too. i plan on reading some of the book tonight, and whatnot. this is the last night i won't have my room, booyah. i can't believe i'm leaving for 3 weeks. shitman, i better get packin.

192.

yayayay! i basically spent the whole day with law and my mom :) we picked law up, went to 7-11 to get free slurpees, and then best buy to look at prices. after thaaat, we went to macy's and bought lotsa qt clothes for europe, and those shoes! love them. i leave in a week.... holy shit. i caaaan't. after macy's, we went to eat at wendy's, mmmm. so great. we decided to not go to target and go h0me. my mom wanted to see a movie, so we looked into that. the proposal at 9:25! we left early and went to wendy's agan.... lololol. and then the movies. holy shit, cutest movie :)! "congratulations, i'm now 100 years old." "OH, barely made it out with my life." LMFAO omg so great. law and i were dying. now law's sleeping over :D yayayay. well, a lot of shit to get off my chest. first of all, i'm sorry. what the shet, i don't know what i'm doing. i'm constantly trying to remind myself of all the asshole things that you do. it makes me so mad but in the end, i care too much to leave. how much does that suck? what can i even do? i don't even know. it's just so frustrating. i don't know why things had to be like this. well then. also, i don't miss you as much as i thought i would. maybe we're still "friends" but whatever. you don't act like it, so why should i? i'm done going through all this trouble. yeah, i love you but maybe it's better off this way. doing more shopping tomorrow.... should be fun. peace.

191.

kristina's birthday party today. mhm, i love that girl. xo.

190.

today was interesting. woke up around 11:45 and showered, did nothing for awhile. at 4, mike and i picked up laura and jess and went on a little adventure. we went to walmart to buy kristina's gifts! mwahaha. mike bought a bubble sword, therefore resulting in the bubbles in the picture. after walmart, we went to marisa's house and then sat outside a store for a while. we then went back home and tried to figure out something to do. at 8:45, mama rizzo picked us up, and then picked up sammy and jakelyn. she dropped us off at applebee's! mmmm very good. connor came about halfway through that meal. i was v v full :) then we decided to walk back to my house. it was a fun half an hour, lul. when we got back, mike dropped connor off and then sammy, jakelyn and laura. cray cray night. i love them, i miss being really close. it was always a good time. i'm not tired.... hmmm. oh wellz. goodnight! xo.

189.

i think we could spend every day together for the rest of our lives and never get sick of each other. didn't really do anything today, but we still had fun of course. that's the beauty of it. read through my old journal entries and shet, that was fun. law was asleep during that....... bahaha. reconnected with someone today, too. it made me really happy because i missed him. also, i definitely know i'm not alone when i say nothing personal has been on repeat for the past 2 days. addicting. i know all time low has changed but i still respect them and this cd is genuinely good. it makes me proud of them. anyway. this is a vicious cycle and no matter how many times i say it's over, it never really is. it's tiring. oh well. "So, this is my life, and I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."

188.

hahaha, tore down a lot of posters today. redesigned my wall. i love it so much more now. probably edit later. peace :)

187.

do you remember those? yeah, i kept them all. i love you and i miss you already. today was uneventful. been crying too much. laura's here now. going to chris jung's with her. good time with those girls. peace.

edit. i'm on chris jung's super qt macbook right now! very exciting. having a very good night. we went to walbaum's and bought food to make. we came back to jungie's house and made it all. that included macaroni & cheese, biscuits, creamed corn, grapes, celery and carrots. it was sooo good and i'm full at the moment. we're having discussions right now and eating grapes still. very yummy. i love these girls. i'm leaving here around 10:15 and then maybe doing something else? idkkkk. how qt. bye. (:

186.

4th of july was so much fun. the typical interesting family party :) it was great. so many people were thrown into the pool, and i got to see a lot of people i haven't seen in a while. i also met a lot of new, awesomez people! the fireworks my uncle did were amazing, as always. i slept at sarah's last night of course. basically tradition. we stayed up until 4am talking about shit. when we woke up, we ate breakfast and than went in the pool for a little. then we tanned on her chairs but it got reallyyyy hot. so we decided to go to the beach! we drove there with the windows down and blasting music. that's the part of summer i love. it's seriously the greatest and that was so much fun. we layed out for 2 hours and had long talks about everything. i deffinitely needed to catch up with her, and it was good to do that. good to get a lot of stuff out. i got pretty tan from today mwahaha. love life. anyway. we got home around 7 and ate some more. messed around with her new laptop and then took showers. my dad picked me up and i got home around 11pm. now i might go hang out with david, gina and chris. byeeeeee.

185.

this really doesn't have any relevance to today. i just took it off my door. it looks kindof naked. but there's always room for changes. anyway. i'm going to my cousin sarah's graduation/4th of july party soon. sleeping there. i really need to catch up with my favorite cousin. i'll be doing that tonight. be back tomorrow, of course :) xo.

184.

hahahaha, what do i even say about today? how interesting. been with law all day. how is it that we never get tired of each other? oh wellz, it's awesome and i love my best friend :) daturz leaves tomorrow for cali for 10 days and i'm gunna miss her so much ): and i leave in 15 days.............. holy shit. this is insaneee. well, i'ma go watch that 70's show wif law, bye :)

183.

didn't really do much of anything today. going to law's now because i'm bored. peace :)

edit. hahahaha, oh how i love my best friend. we do nothing but still manage to have a good time. i'm glad i'm with her instead of doing something i'd probably regret. a time for that may come sometime but not tonight. eh, who knows. i just seem to be doing stupid things lately. oh well. sleeping over law's tonight. tomorrow should be interesting. peace.

182.

oh god. tonight, was fucking amazing. i'll write all about it when i'm not dead tired. xo.

edit. alright, let's start from the beginning. i woke up at 11 to gina ringing my doorbell. i told her and david to come back in an hour. i got ready and then chilled with them, went to the mall and such. gina got me 4g's! excited. i got home around 4 and then tor and tracy came over before we went to new york city for shh. it happens tour! phone calls from home, sparks the rescue, cash cash, valencia and every avenue. i took another shower quick and then got ready again. we all looked so qt and i was v v excited :) we left around 5:15. driving to nyc was so much fun because we blasted every avenue and the rocket summer. i love my best friends. doors were at 5, and we got there a little before 6:30. oh well! we only missed pcfh and str, and i didn't really want to sit through them anyway. i bought some merch and then we went into the main room. i love highline ballroom, it's so nice in there :) anyway. cash cash came on and it was exciting. they are soooooo qt live! it was actually surprising. jp's voice was flawless, so much better than i expected. jeeeez. a lot of respect for them. i like them much more now! haha. next was valencia. holy shit, my fucking boys. they were amazing, as always. that smile never left my face. they played; better be prepared, safe to say, holiday, all at once, 3,000 miles, where did you go, the good life, & the space between. during holiday, cash cash came out and sprayed everyone with a watergun ahahaha. i always seem to get soaked at valencia shows. i was so happy they played safe to say, holy shit. and the space between finale was amazing as always. dave of every ave came out and sang the last chorus and it was so qt. valencia seriously makes me so happy. they are definitely one of my favorite bands, ever. soooo valencia ended around 8:25, so i knew it was gunna be an early show. every avenue came on around 8:45. they played; trading heartbeats, chasing the night, a story to tell your friends, think of you later, never knew me (new song! so adorable), freak out, between you and i, days of the old, where were you, and one more song as their encore. so great. dave played piano for between you and i and i was basically crying. i was hoping they'd play that. ahhhh so fucking amazing. anyway, after the show, tor, tracy and i waited outside for people. i met dave, jimmie and josh of every avenue and brendan, george, and shane of valencia. brendan and i took the traditional multiple pictures. i seriously love that boy so much. george was a complete sweetheart as well. i love this band so fucking much. the night wouldn't be complete without almost hitting dave with my car? hahahaha oh life. well that was interesting. fucking amazing night. i really missed shows and all. that might've been my last one before i leave. it was definitely worth everything. thank you so much <3