330.

happy thanksgiving! i'll edit later :)

edit. soooo. uh. thanksgiving never is perfect for me. there's always something/someone missing. don't get me wrong, i enjoyed some things about today. but overall, there were more bad things than good. idk. had thanksgiving lunch at 2pm. it was only me, my mom, my aunt, 2 cousins, and my abuela. food was good, even though i really only ate mashed potatoes. idk. things just piss me off. i wish mike was here. it would've been better. around holidays, i never feel like i have as much fun as i should. that might seem selfish of me, but really, can't i ask for that? to be honest, all my holidays kind of suck. just once, i want to have a traditional one. where there are no problems and no one's an asshole and i can enjoy it just like every other kid does. it sucks that i have to leave my house in order to even have a holiday. whatever. i'm thankful for everything i do have. that's what this day is all about, right? i remember last thanksgiving, my blog. i don't think i complained that much. it just sucks because now, all i think about is how thanksgiving 3 years ago was the last time i saw him. i miss you tio. rip. anyway. more complaining, i guess. i didn't want to let you hurt me again, but you always do. i know you have your reasons and you apoligize in the end, but why do you have to do this all the time? do you even realize how much it hurts? especially when i call you to actually talk and you tell me nothing's wrong. don't bullshit me, you called me at 2am for a reason. i just want everything to be okay. i feel like i'm the only one trying when it comes to problems. you just want to give up, i'm the one who doesn't let you. this means a lot to me. just think about the things you say before you actually say them. well, i hope everyone's day was better than mine. thanks for the texts. i love you all. xo.

ps. today's picture is the sky at sunset. pennsylvania is so beautiful sometimes.