new year.

so, it's 2009. that's weird. 2008 was the most amazing year of my life, without a doubt. i wouldn't trade it for anything. so far, this year hasn't been so great. as i was watching the tv of times square in a house full of my family, the countdown started at 10. those seconds flew by and when they yelled 1, it hit me. it felt so wrong. i started crying so hard. it was the beginning of a new year and i wasn't where i wanted to be. i wanted to be celebrating with my friends, having fun, making memories. i just felt like my 2008 ended on a bad note and 2009 started on one. i would've given anything to be somewhere else. it just felt so wrong. it was also the first new years i've ever spent without my brother. things were changing too fast and i couldn't handle it. today hasn't been that much better. idk. hopefully this year will improve.