323.

i love you, and i'm happy. fuck everything else. i'm trying as hard as i can. but sometimes, that's not enough.

Take a walk and we can watch the lights, I'm not cold when you're by my side.

322.

this would be my best friend driving, HAHAHA. today was fun! school is so pointless sometimes, i hate failing tests ): but whatever. 91 on my math test! so happy. i feel like i'm not trying hard enough in general in school, buttttt who cares. i'm fine right now. anyway. stayed after for math after school, with kiana and laur. did my homework, then laur and i went to my house and ate pizza. fat. thennn walked to her house, did more homework, and had fun (pointless) times, of course. went to applebee's with shithead and her father, she drove! can't wait for next year when she has her license, holyshit. twas a good timeee. ate and whatnot, drove back to her house. listened to music, and i did more homework LOL. i really hate laura rizzo :D. left her house at 9:30 and now i'm homeeee, in my lovely sweatpants. probably going to sleep early tonight because i've been tired for more than a week. oh btw, a week ago right now, i was with stephenbryce. i miss you a lot! might edit later. i love you. bye!

edit. i'm so sick of worrying about hurting people. especially my good friends. because i don't know what i'd do without them. but i know how little people actually like me, genuinely. it just really hurts me when i find out. maybe i should just keep my mouth shut from now on.

edit 2. i honestly hate everything right now. this world is full of terrible, and decieving people. but why am i even writing this here? who the fuck even cares? fuck you all.

321.

exciting. school, then went home and chilled. actually have food in my house now, this is great. went to target with miguel, we need to spend more time together again. hopefully i can help him get organized. picture is the sunset in his mirror on his car :). got amazing sweatpants at target, i love my life. fun times. thennn went home, went with my mom to the vet. interesting. sometimes i hate my cats. went home, homework, and then chilled with people. coolz! got home around 9:30. my life is so exciting and interesting, no?! uhhhh, haven't talked to you all day. why? ohwells. kbye!

320.

ohhhhello, i'm in spanish, fun. today was okay. wore a shirt for the first time and i really like it. not like anyone cares. so i read through a lot of my old blogs today. it seriously fucking makes me think. and i'm such an analytical person. sometimes too much. but whatever. i am how i am and i can't change that. idk. i guess i can just say that sometimes, i miss how things were. no matter what. i may laugh at that now, but i know that at some point, those people and things were what made me happy. and regardless of the present, i miss that. idk, am i making sense? i think this is one of the main reasons i made a 365 blog. i read day 1. and i wrote this, "yep, three hundred and sixty five pictures. i hope they will depict my life and gave me many memories to look back on eventually." and they definitely fucking have. this blog has become a huge part of my life. it's so important to me to be able to look back on days i loved and never want to forget. even those shitty days and weeks where all i wanted to do was kill everyone... at least i got my feelings out, somewhere. reading about all that makes me remember exactly how i felt. and even if it was a bad feeling, i still like knowing that i can remember it. idk. especially since i'm big on remembering dates. this was an awesome idea. i can't believe we're halfway through november already. and then it's december. i'm seriously debating another 365 for 2010. i mean, yeah i love it. but it was also... idk. kind of annoying sometimes. i'm definitely moving to tumblr on january 1st, but should i do another 365? if i don't, i know i'll definitely miss it, a lot. and there will be times where i regret it. i need opinions. i know it's really good for me to get all my feelings out, so maybe i should? idk. brings me to another point. no one ever comments this anymore, lawls. idunno. people used to! also something i noticed when i was reading old stuff. anyway. blasting john mayer right now. i took a walk earlier. not stoked that it's getting really cold, almost too cold for my walks. well. on another note, i don't know why you're so nervous. i've told you so many times not to care what people think. just listen to me, for once jerk! (: but really, i love how close we are. i really do. it's better than anything else i've had. i think you're worth everything. i feel really lame when i tell anyone how i actually feel. yeah, even you. but i do anyway. you really are a great kid, trust me. and i hate when you're negative, you know that. don't think about possibilities in the future, because that's not where you're living. you're here, in the present, right now. and if you're happy, and i'm happy, that's all that matters. love. xo.

edit. if you're going to criticize me, learn to spell ;D

319.

ahahahahaha, oh life. today was gooood. not so much the first half. actually saw oheka castle for the first time, though. fun. went to laur's around 3. left at 9. i really love my best friend. and uhhh, this is what happens when we're together, i guess. LOL. anyway. i guess today is our date. that's pretty cute. wellll, everyone is an asshole today. and i don't want to go to school tomorrow. but whatever. i really need a vacation. loveyou. peace.

318.

interesting day. it was rainy all day and i was in such a bad mood in the morning and afternoon, idk. so that kinda sucked. but then, i was on the phone with laur and loma asked us to hang outtt. so we made plans, to go to elwood and eat/see a movie at 6:30. sooo i left and picked up laur, mama ah dropped us off at elwood. got our tickets to see the fourth kind, and then we went into dunkin donuts and waited for loma, izzy and rachel. we were seriously on crack for some reason, and it was so funny. lmfao. we got our food and then ~the girls~ came and got theirs! "I LOVE BEING A GIRL!" :D lmfao. uhhhh then it was like 7:30, and the movie was at 7:45. so we left and went there, they got their tickets and then we went in. it was a really good movie, like not scary but just weird. idk, it was good! still need to see 2012, lulz. anyway. after the movie, loma, izzy and rachel left. so laur and i called people to pick us up, since we didn't want to go home. erik, henry and jill came and LOL interesting times. went to some kid's house, saw a lot of people i haven't seen in forever. probably since freshman year ended. weirddd. but yeah. got drove home at 11:30 and then walked law half way home. still dead tired from this week. but tonight was fun! oh, ps. i'm sorry for that. i know it hurt. i didn't realize when i said it. but i hope we're okay now. i'm glad everything happened like that. glad i know for sure. so, we're in this together. i know i'm not exactly girlfriend material but whatev. just as long as we're happy. xo.

317.

i love this week, i love my life. i might edit later. but i really need sleep. goodbye. xo.

edit. i don't understand how you could talk so much shit and turn around and act like everything is fine. that's not how friendship works. you're such a hypocrite.

edit 2. i'm a shitty friend anyway so nothing i say really matters.
Save me, 'cause I need it, and I can't help but feel desperate.

edit 3. first 3rd edit ever. monumental? i take back what i said the first edit, i don't delete things. i'm sorry, ily.